Dear Mom and Dad,

There are four weeks until I leave for Australia. I know we've been joking about it so much. "Only four more weeks to hear you bitch at each other." "Only four more weeks of seeing your clothes take over the bedroom." But I am going to miss you most of all. I'll never be able to repay you for taking me in when I left Tony. For dealing with the shit that I've put you through over the last few months, not to mention the last 34 years. And I've enjoyed spending all this time with you. It reminded me of when I was in high school and had so much more fun with my parents than with any of my friends. You guys are still more fun than anyone. Most of the time at least - I really can't say that the Polka show has gotten any better on a Saturday night!

Things are going to be good. I know they will be. I'm going to have so much fun and peace in Australia. All that stuff I've been missing out on for way too long.

Dad, I know you don't understand and just wish I'd settle down with a nice guy and have a job with a retirement package. And I will someday, I'm sure. But I have to do this first. I spent the last 15 years wishing that I'd gone away to college and done something brave with my life. I don't want to spend the next 15 wishing I had taken this amazing chance.

Only four more weeks! There are still things I need to do. I've got to go through my storage building, get my immunizations updated and spend as much time as possible with the family and my friends. It all flies by so quickly. It seems like just the other day, I came in and told you I needed a place to stay for awhile. Then remember when I told you that I wanted to go to Australia, Dad? It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. And you cried. I swear if you had said no, I would have canceled my plans. "PTL," as Mackenzie would say, you didn't.

Dad, I know Mom will check this blog out and email me and everything. But you have to promise to do it too. You have to stay connected to your "darling daughter" during my trip. I'll do my part but you have to do yours too. Promise? You have to tell me how Mom is feeling for real. Mom won't tell me the truth. You have to tell me what brats Gavin and Caleb are because we all know their mothers and Grandma Hedy won't! And you have to tell me what's going on with you. I'm counting on you guys, just like always.

Love,
Court

Dear Grandma Helen,

Even though I know you won't ever see this, I'm hoping it'll help me figure out how to tell you that I'm leaving for a while. It's been a pretty tough year or so for me. I really thought I'd figured out life and my place in it. It was in this small town surrounded by my family and beside my husband. For all his faults, I loved Tony with everything I had. I tried to do everything a wife is supposed to. Everything I learned from Mom, Deb, Carol and most of all, you. You created a home, an entire universe out of love and order and dusting and ironing. I wasn't able to do that. Maybe it was my hatred of dusting and ironing?

Anyway, you know I've always wanted to see and do things that no one else in the family has done. My divorce was certainly a start in the right direction, wasn't it? But now I'm going all the way. I'm leaving home for a while, Grandma. Australia has been calling my name for so many years. All of Edna's stories kept the idea in my heart. Don't worry, I won't be on my own on the other side of the world. My friend, Ken is going to be with me every step of the way. He's a good man, Grandma, so you don't have to worry.

Tony always said I was a dodo born in a flock of chickens. When he first said it, I really thought it meant that I'd finally found someone who understood me. Of course, I realized it was another way to keep me as isolated from you guys as possible. Over the last few months it's finally sunk in that I am a chicken. Just a chicken of a different color. A chicken who needs to stretch her wings a bit and see what she can find. Maybe I'll find Courtney Charles King again. It's about time we were reacquainted isn't it?
I know you have always wanted me to be happy. I think I'm finally on my way to that. I love you, Grandma.

Love,
Court