Anniversary

I have officially been in Australia for a year! It's been a beautiful year of love, laughter, sacrifice, and tears. You may not believe me, but every day is a surprise and joy for me. Even the worst day is better than my life before. Not because I had this horribly tragic life, I'm not a character in a Bronte or Dickens novel (as much as I would have enjoyed it), but because I was missing something. Before you click to close this page, yes, my name is Courtney and I'm a romance-aholic. I admit it. Most of my young life was spent with my nose in a book, I can quote all the romantic movies of my youth by heart, and the 1995 BBC version of Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" is still my favorite movie ever. It's on TV this month and Ken has been kind enough to promise to sit through it without complaint! Who needs Mr. Darcy?

But back to my original point if I can remember what that was...oh yes, missing something. When I was a little girl, our entire family got together for holidays at Grandma and Granddad's. We ate and talked and the kids ran wild and everyone was happy and loved. And every year, I would sneak into the back bathroom and cry. How could I be so happy and so sad at the same time? It was fear - fear that I would never find that love I could see in the married couples around me. It was this elusive dream all through my childhood, adolescence and young adult life. And then I met Ken. We clicked, but the timing was just incredibly wrong. It took another eight years for us to make that commitment.

And now that I have that beautiful love and partnership, life is perfect right? Well, yes and no. Can you believe I'm still sneaking into the bathroom and crying? The fear is back, but it's different this time. My fear is that by following my heart and leaving my family back in Indiana, I'm actually the one being left behind. Our lives are so different and now so far apart. My niece turned 16 a couple of weeks ago! Without me?! My cousin and her family are just growing and changing so much! Without me? My Grandma is getting older and more frail and more forgetful every day. Without me? How can I be so happy and so sad at the same time? Is this what it means to be a grown-up? Does everyone feel like this? How do you get through it?

I'm learning to get through it with the love and humor my parents have passed down. And a lot of hugs from Ken. My dear Ken who took me to a beautiful dinner on our anniversary and acted just as excited as me about my new shoes for the occasion. Ken who gets up early every morning and makes sure I have hot tea and toast as soon as I wake up. Ken who makes me laugh so hard that I collapse into a puddle on the floor. And I guess that's what life is about. Making sacrifices and loving someone so much it doesn't actually feel like it's a sacrifice at all.

My family here in Australia is getting larger. Ken's son and daughter-in-law are expecting a little boy later in the year. We are all so thrilled! Bella is trying to come to terms with having a brother instead of a sister, but it'll be fantastic. I can't wait, little boys are so sweet and just to hold a baby again will be heaven! They were so lovely and brought me over a worm farm for my birthday. Julie even emailed my mom and found out my favorite type of birthday cake, then made it for me!

Life is good. It's been a wonderful year, and I can't wait to see what the future holds in store.

March

March has always been one of my favorite months. The beginning of Spring in Indiana, when you can finally start to see the pale green haze around the trees signaling the beginning of buds after the long, grey winter. The air smells different in March, and you can start to feel your shoulders come down from where they've been huddling around your ears all winter. March has always seemed more like the beginning of a new year to me than January. Maybe it's because I was born in March or because of the Spring. Either way I'm happy to discover that it has significance in the Southern Hemisphere as well. The Summer will be ending and Autumn will finally arrive. I can't tell you how happy that makes me! I love the heat and sun, but enough already! The last few days have been cooler and rainy, and I feel like one of my garden plants, sucking in the water.

The change isn't dramatic like in Indiana, we'll still have pretty warm, sunny weather most of the time. But there's a different smell in the air. And there is definitely a green haze over everything. My tomatoes are growing every day and I swear you can almost watch them get bigger. We've had our air conditioning off two days now and it's wonderful to be able to hear the outside world. Even if it is arguing neighbors and those bloody crows that love to torment Ken. I woke up this morning and just laid there listening to the rain outside. What beautiful music the world makes!

Last night I was lying in bed reading the novel, The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society, by Mary Ann Shaffer. It's a beautifully written book, told completely in letters. I recommend it to anyone looking for a lovely read. Anyway, I was lying in bed reading this story of change and finding "home" and it hit me how incredibly changed my life is in so short a time. In a couple of weeks, I'll have been here a year! Part of me feels like I've been here all my life, because I feel so right and at home. But then it hits me what a huge transformation this has been. And honestly, the realization of an eight-year dream. How fantastic is that?

My knitting is getting better and more fun every day. I'm still leery about trying new patterns or knitting anything other than scarves, but I am proud to say I finished a tea cozy for myself and even though it's not perfect, it's mine. Last week, I started a scarf for myself just to practice rib knit and I just love it. It did get ripped out a few times, but I needed to practice for a very special project I'm getting ready to start. The yarn I'm practicing with is a beautiful cotton and as I don't have enough to make a scarf, I'll have to go back to the yarn shop and buy another skein. (Oh darn!)

Ken and I doubled the size of our 'farm' this weekend! We now have lettuces and snow pea and cucumber. The cucumbers are a Crystal Apple variety and will be little white balls of sweetness I hope. We had a pretty productive weekend, but still plenty of time to be lazy. Perfect in my opinion! Ken built shelves to store the homemade beer/cider and that opens up a lot of cabinet space for me to spread out in the kitchen. YAY! My job today is to organize those cabinets now. Not a fun job really, but will be so worthwhile.

While I'm doing that, you can look at some pictures of our trip to the bay last week. Even though we had some major train drama, it was a nice afternoon out. We had a picnic on the bay and a great walk. There are some beautiful waterfront homes here - if you have a spare couple of million dollars.

Have a great week!