Even though I know you won't ever see this, I'm hoping it'll help me figure out how to tell you that I'm leaving for a while. It's been a pretty tough year or so for me. I really thought I'd figured out life and my place in it. It was in this small town surrounded by my family and beside my husband. For all his faults, I loved Tony with everything I had. I tried to do everything a wife is supposed to. Everything I learned from Mom, Deb, Carol and most of all, you. You created a home, an entire universe out of love and order and dusting and ironing. I wasn't able to do that. Maybe it was my hatred of dusting and ironing?
Anyway, you know I've always wanted to see and do things that no one else in the family has done. My divorce was certainly a start in the right direction, wasn't it? But now I'm going all the way. I'm leaving home for a while, Grandma. Australia has been calling my name for so many years. All of Edna's stories kept the idea in my heart. Don't worry, I won't be on my own on the other side of the world. My friend, Ken is going to be with me every step of the way. He's a good man, Grandma, so you don't have to worry.
Tony always said I was a dodo born in a flock of chickens. When he first said it, I really thought it meant that I'd finally found someone who understood me. Of course, I realized it was another way to keep me as isolated from you guys as possible. Over the last few months it's finally sunk in that I am a chicken. Just a chicken of a different color. A chicken who needs to stretch her wings a bit and see what she can find. Maybe I'll find Courtney Charles King again. It's about time we were reacquainted isn't it?
I know you have always wanted me to be happy. I think I'm finally on my way to that. I love you, Grandma.
Love,
Court
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